How to support upset and create engagement

The best part of teams is that they are made up of human beings...the worst part of teams is that they are made up of human beings!

The motivation of a team will vary depending on the emotional state of each person, and often it is outside influences that affect people's mind fitness.

If you see someone upset or they come to you, give them some time. First, get away from your desk, show them that you value how they are feeling. Take them for a coffee, get them away from the telephone, e-mails, other people. Maybe even take them off site - I would go for a walk around the block, or go to a local coffee shop.

People say that they haven't got the time, well you haven't got the time for that person not to be productive, not to be in the right mindset, affecting the rest of the team. Imagine if the problem means that this person will leave - imagine the time you would have to invest in replacing that talent??

Your role is to lead people, and valuing their feelings pays huge dividends in the long term through commitment and loyalty.

A great tip to help you empathise

An interesting point is that if you watch mothers with their babies, they cradle them to the left and in doing so use their right side of the brain. So if you struggle with your emotional intelligence a great tip is when you want to feel and show more emotion look to the left. This is a great way of developing your right brain....so think before you choose your seat in a meeting or in a coaching session.

Know thyself!

To understand others you first have to understand yourself. I often say that a mirror is an important tool - so that you can reflect on the impact that you are having , and what areas that you need to build and develop.

Self awareness is a key skill in both personal and work life. One thing that I have learned over the years is often the very thing that annoys you in others is something that you are not good at....if you are annoyed by the way that others are acting ask yourself why, ask yourself is it because it reminds you of something about yourself?

Being honest with yourself is so important.